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Leon:

Wasting Company Time presents Tell No Tales, season two. Episode Seventeen: A Despicable Man

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Frank

Is it not enough that I agreed to this at all? Must I be in the room with you?

RILEY

Aww, the big boss man has daddy issues. Who would’a guessed?

LEO

Be nice, Riley.

RILEY

I absolutely will not.

FRANK

Considering the low esteem you hold me in, you should take it as sufficiently concerning that I, the man you deem to be such a ruthless monster, would decribe my father as the spawn of satan himself.

JULIA

That’d make you the spawn of the spawn of satan, so… yeah that checks out.

LEO

He’s all we’ve got, Frank.

FRANK

I have not disputed that. I simply do not wish to be a part of the conversation.

LEO

Well, I’m afraid you’re going to have to be. We need information from him, and you know more than us. About Better Place, and about him. We’re gonna need your help.

FRANK

If you think seeing me is going to put him in a helpful mood, you are quite misunderstanding our relationship.

LEO

You never know. Maybe being dead for a few decades has mellowed him.

FRANK

Very amusing.

[SFX: Ghost recorder is switched on, capsule is opened]

LEO

Hi, Mr. Whitley? Erm… my name’s Leo, I don’t know if you remember me but I–

WHITLEY

Of course I remember you, how could I forget the witless imbecile who came wandering into my mausoleum seeking communication yet was entirely unable to heed my warning?

LEO

Well, th- that’s a bit unfair. You were making the tombstones ooze blood. So.

WHITLEY

Yes, my only means of communication. And after all of that effort to cross over from a presence to an apparition, no less. Apparitions are entirely unable to control the manner of their manifestations, which anybody with even a modicum of paranormal theology education should know, but that is assuming that they have half a brain, which it seems-

RILEY

Wind your fucking neck in-

FRANK

(OVERLAPPING) That’s quite enough of that.

WHITLEY

(BEAT) Ahhh. Richard. What a disturbing and unpleasant surprise. It seems I was right about your tendency to the unnatural and… perverse.

JULIA

Don’t look so horrified Leo, I don’t hear a word of a lie. It’s almost satisfying to see you looking so small, Frank.

LEO

I don’t think he’s talking about… never mind. Frank, are you ok[ay]-

WHITLEY

Frank? Is that what you are calling yourself now? Is that supposed to honour your mother? Marianne Frances Whitley would have been disgusted by the shrivelling worm of a man you’ve become, she has been turning in her grave since you were old enough to form your own worthless opinions. Too objectionable to keep your thoughts to yourself yet too spineless to lend any real weight [to them]-

LEO

Alright! Mr. Whitley, I wanted to be polite about this but please remember, you’re entirely under our control here. You’re temporarily out of your stasis capsule, and if we don’t put you back soon, (RAPIDLY BECOMING LESS CONFIDENT WITH MAKING THIS THREAT) you- well, it- it won’t be… exactly pleasant for you.

Your son is putting a lot of pride aside to help us, and I’d appreciate you shutting the hell up and listening. And for what it’s worth, not a single person alive today would ever decribe Frank the way you have. Under his leadership, Mortui Non Morden has grown to a scale you couldn’t even imagine-

RILEY

Since when did you become secretary of the Frank Williamson Fan Club?

LEO

I didn’t say I agree with it. Just that- it’s- I mean, his assessment of who Frank is as a person is just fundamentally inaccurate.

FRANK

Thank you, Leonardo, but I do not need you to defend me. Father, tell me about the ritual.

WHITLEY

The ritual?

FRANK

To move spirits on? Tell me how to perform it.

WHITLEY

(GLEEFULLY) Oh, this is quite marvellous! You’re director, but you never learned the ritual? You must have failed quite spectacularly to achieve that. From whom did you inherit the title?

FRANK

I took it. I took what was mine.

WHITLEY

I see. Like father like son, I suppose. Finally you seem to have retained one of my better qualities.

FRANK

That was not the same. Not at all the same.

JULIA

Same as what?

FRANK

He’s referring to his own abhorrent inheritance of Mortui Non Morden.

WHITLEY

Abhorrent? Oh but Richard, I only took what was mine, just as you did. She wasn’t fit to lead, I knew that, the other men knew it too.

FRANK

You knew nothing of the sort. You were simply too weak to handle the thought of answering to a director in petticoats. You couldn’t bear the thought that a lady might have superior expertise in your field.

LEO

Are you talking about Clara Edgecombe? She was the director before you, right? The only woman to- Oh. I see. She was forced out of her role. I’m guessing by you…?

WHITLEY

Myself and a few other men I rallied.

FRANK

I told you he was a despicable man, Leonardo.

WHITLEY

You always did have such strange ideas about how the world could work, Richard. Particularly for somebody with so little interest in the fairer sex. (BEAT) Oh, you supposed yourself subtle? Don’t look so surprised, you never did hide your inclinations well.

FRANK

Oh Father, you have been dead and buried for so long now. While you languished, the world changed itself to fit me. Feel free to revile me for my inclinations, while I revel in watching an old corpse struggle to grasp at a world who left him behind.

WHITLEY

A world shaped around you and your perversions? I should rather be a corpse than-

RILEY

Alright buddy, I can excuse taking the piss out of Frank, at any other time I would actively encourage it, but I draw the fucking line at homophobia.

WHITLEY

I beg your pardon?

RILEY

Then beg, bitch.

WHITLEY

I will not stand for-

JULIA

Oh, won’t you? Because I don’t think you’re going anywhere, actually. You’re dead, remember?

WHITLEY

So is Richard Whitley, but this so called Frank seems to be managing well enough.

LEO

He’s not… dead, not exactly. But that’s not even the point here, we’re way off track. Mr. Whitley, we just need to know about the ritual. How did you even learn about it, if you overthrew Clara Edgecombe? Wouldn’t you have had the same problem as Frank, if the role of Director wasn’t willingly passed down to you?

WHITLEY

Miss Edgecombe might not have been fit to lead, but she did have enough wisdom in her to recognise defeat when it came to her doorstep. She knew better than to let Mortui Non Morden collapse. If I can offer her credit for anything, it is that she stepped down gracefully. She passed on her knowledge to me. A grace that your pre-decessor does not appear to have afforded you, Richard. Who was your prede[cessor]–

FRANK

(FURIOUSLY) Your beloved Edgar. I didn’t give him the chance. I killed him, father. I killed him, and I took his soul, and I became immortal. And now look at me.

WHITLEY

Look at you indeed. Director of a sham of a company that you do not understand. What have you been doing with those spirits you could not move on? Storing them in the attic? Hoping nobody peers beneath the rug?

JULIA

Kinda exactly that, yeah.

WHITLEY

Perfect. I only regret not being able to watch you burn your company into the ground first-hand. This Better Place is not my Mortui Non Morden. Do what you will with it, and burn your pride to cinders alongside it.

FRANK

This is bigger than either of us. The spirit plane is collapsing. Nobody wants to see what that looks like.

LEO

He’s right. You have as much to gain from helping us as we do. It’s true that Frank has been storing the spirits because he didn’t know what to do with them. But if we don’t remove them soon, the spirit plane collapses and it takes you with it. Along with every other innocent spirit out there. You ever wanted to see the other side? Good luck with that, because I don’t know what happens if you’re still on this plane when it collapses, but I don’t think it’s heaven.

FRANK

Montgomery Whitley going to heaven, a truly novel thought.

WHITLEY

I spent decades withering away in a mausoleum. I have long given up any hope of an afterlife. All I can do now is take my revenge on the man who left me there.

LEO

(GOBSMACKED) And what about all the other spirits?

WHITLEY

What do I care for them?

FRANK

Selfless and charitable as ever, father.

RILEY

I see when Frank gets it from.

FRANK

(THREATENINGLY) Mx. Matkins-

LEO

Frank, it isn’t Riley you’re angry at, take a breath. (PAUSE) Mr. Whitley. At least tell us where to start. Anywhere to begin our research, anyone else who might know.

WHITLEY

There is nobody else. I passed my knowledge onto my son before I retired. If you killed him, Richard, before his time, then it died with him. It was the best-kept secret in the country.

LEO

What about internationally? Better Place isn’t the only ghost removal company in the world, what about our counterparts in America, weren’t you speaking to them Frank? Maybe they’ll know something.

WHITLEY

Perhaps. Though in my time, we’d recieve visitors from overseas some two or three times a year, begging to share in our knowledge, always hoping to establish whatever bastardisation of Mortui Non Morden they could manage in some New World or other. None of them ever got their wish. Whatever solution they found, it was not our ritual. You could enquire. Perhaps they would even tell you. But how confident are you that these other organisations are actually moving the spirits on to the afterlife? Perhaps they have simply had more success in destroying them than you have.

LEO

Well, that sounds like a whole lot of… (SMALL BREATH). Frank. Was there any truth in that?

FRANK

They were very withholding, last we spoke, naturally. But… yes, that was the general idea I got when I spoke with various companies across the United States. They politely informed me that they could not disclose details of their process, but in doing so, words like dissolution and disbandment were tossed around. Pretty euphemisms, but nontheless telling.

LEO

That’s not an option. There are spirits relying on us to move them on to… somewhere. We’re not just… disbanding anybody.

WHITLEY

(UNCOMFORTABLY, LIKE HE’S IN A BIT OF PAIN BUT UNWILLING TO SHOW IT) Do you see now, Richard? Your willingness to sieze what you supposed to be yours will be your downfall. The knowledge you seek died with- (WINCES) Died with your brother.

LEO

Whitley? Are you-

RILEY

Shit.

LEO

We need to put him back, Frank.

FRANK

No. No, not yet. You do not return to that stasis capsule until I say so. Tell me about the ritual, you worthless scum. Tell me, or I’ll–

WHITLEY

(THROUGH THE PAIN) Or you’ll what? Let me suffer, I’ll do so with glee knowing you suffer with me.

[SFX: Stasis capsule opens and Whitley returns]

LEO

I’m sorry, Frank. I had to. We still need him. We can try again another time.

FRANK

(LONG PAUSE) Quite. Yes, Leonardo. Thank you for staying level-headed where I could not. If you wouldn’t mind, though, I… I need a moment.

[SFX: Footsteps, Frank pulls out a seat with a sigh]

LEO

Guys, could you… Do you mind if I talk to Frank alone for a sec?

RILEY

Last time you asked that, you disappeared for months.

LEO

(HUSHED) Riley, look at him.

JULIA

Yeah, it’s… actually quite unsettling. I didn’t think he could get any paler than he already was. Let’s just leave them to it, Ri.

RILEY

Fine. Whatever. I have a splitting headache anyway.

[SFX: Riley and Julia leave, Leo pulls out a stool next to Frank]

LEO

So that was a lot.

FRANK

(HARSHLY) I am quite fine, Leonardo.

LEO

Yeah, okay. (LONG PAUSE) I didn’t know you named yourself after your mum.

FRANK

(WEARY) She was the best of all of us.

LEO

Yeah?

FRANK

My father is wrong about her. About what she would think of me. He looked past it, because he adored her, but she fought him at every turn, just like I did. She did everything in her power to stop his little coup against Mrs Edgecombe. When she died, the difference in him was so stark. I was only a boy, but I hadn’t truly believed he could be a worse man than he already was. But after she was gone, it was clear that she had been all there was of his restraint. (BEAT) But while she lived… I was almost happy. The two of us, we’d bicker with him, taunt him over supper until his temper was stretched taut enough to snap and then she would soothe him with nothing more than her fingertips on the back of his hand. Then she’d wink at me, or smile, or suppress a laugh. She enjoyed being objectionable with me just as much as I did. And when they disagreed, truly disagreed… she did not hold back. There were no winks or smiles then, there was only a burning ambitious temper that I was in awe of. She knew the value of a voice that could demand to be heard.

LEO

(AMUSED) Sounds like she’d be proud of you.

FRANK

I wouldn’t go that far. Not since Edgar. She doted on him, just like my father did. The only difference is that my mother doted on myself and Colin just as freely. I doubt she would ever have forgiven me, if she’d lived to see it.

LEO

I’m not saying what you did to Edgar was okay. Not at all. And not anything you’ve done to any of the spirits you’ve consumed since. But… you can’t undo any of it. You feeling anything approaching guilt for the past is a good sign, isn’t it? But instead of dwelling on it, you just need to… do better. You already are. Or, it’s a start, at least. I’ve seen you change, these past few months. You’re still you, don’t get me wrong, you’re not getting any awards for your empathy any time soon, but you’re trying. I think your mother would be proud of who you’ve been recently.

FRANK

That’s very kind of you to say.

LEO

Not kind. Just true.

FRANK

(VOICE BREAKING) How is it- (COLLECTING HIMSELF) How are you still so… trusting? I blackmailed you, Leo. I forced you to work with me, and you – quite correctly – despised me for it. I could feel myself, walking in my father’s shoes. I’ve disgusted even myself at times. And yet you trusted me enough to… allow me room to grow.

LEO

I mean, that wasn’t me, was it? Like, you just… I don’t know, I assumed it was the whole spirit plane thing, the bigger picture became the most important thing.

FRANK

The bigger picture was always your forte, Leonardo. I have only ever excelled at helping myself.

LEO

You’ve helped me.

[SFX: Fabric rustle as Leo reaches out to Frank, and after a moment Frank returns the gesture]

JULIA

LEO!

[SFX: Another fabric rustle as Frank and Leo quickly pull away, before the door is flung open]

LEO

Julia, we’re kind of [in the m]-

JULIA

I don’t care. Riley just collapsed.

LEO

They- what?! What happened?

JULIA

I don’t know, they just- one second they were looking for more painkillers, then they were just out, please, I don’t want to leave them alone for too long-

[SFX: Chair scrapes as Frank stands quickly]

FRANK

Take me to them.

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Leon:

This episode of Tell No Tales was written and produced by Leon Egan. In it, you heard the voices of Asher Amor-Train as Frank, Phil Thompson as Riley, Leon Egan as Leo Quinn, Shannon Kelly as Julia, and Marlon Dance-Hooi as Montgomery Whitley. If you enjoyed this episode, we’d love it if you let someone know. It doesn’t have to be us, but it would be a nice ego boost if it was. You can find us on Twitter or Tumblr @tellnotalespod and as always, links and information about transcripts can be found in the show notes. Tell No Tales is distributed by Wasting Company Time Productions, under a Creative Commons attribution non-commercial share-alike 4.0 international license. Thank you for listening, and remember: the dead don’t bite.

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