Opening theme begins

Leon:

Wasting Company Time presents Tell No Tales, season two. Episode Twenty-Five: Be Guided, be Free, be at Rest.

Opening theme ends

[SFX: Four sets of footsteps]

Leo

It’s uh… it’s not what I expected.

Riley

Your Catholicism is showing, Leo.

Leo

No it’s just… okay, yeah, no maybe it is the Catholicism. I mean, I should have guessed, given Nathaniel’s whole barebones life-style, that the church he started in would be a bit…

Julia

Bland?

Leo

For want of a better word, yeah.

Frank

Certainly a useful attribute from our perspective. It was much easier to break in, considering there is little of material value stored in here.

Leo

That’s a good point.

Riley

Right, so how do we do this?

Leo

We set up the mobile tether, I guess. Not sure if it matters where? Frank at least seems to think that with the tether’s current limitations, Nathaniel’s ability to possess people shouldn’t be an issue.

Frank

Precisely. Nathaniel will be entirely constrained to the tether’s boundaries, which are currently woefully small. A limitation in how it was intended to be used, certainly. But for our purposes tonight, it becomes helpful. Unfortunately, this affects the burning of the jumper.

Julia

How so? Burning the jumper’s just for the energy transfer.

Frank

Yes, but I believe it is vital for the energy transfer to take place in the same physical space that the spirit inhabits. I cannot be sure, as my father was… hardly able to offer more expansive background to the ritual, given his condition. However, it makes logical sense.

If the energy transfer, under the right conditions, creates a sort of doorway within the spirit plane, then the doorway must be created in a position through which the spirit can pass.

For a category one, this is barely an issue. A category one fills the entire space to which they are tethered, so anywhere in a room or building occupied by a category one should do. A category three, on the other hand, I suspect may need to hold the memento as it burns.

The mobile tether works quite differently. Regardless of category, a spirit tethered to it becomes restricted to its boundaries.

Leo

So we place the jumper on the tether itself then. That seems like the safest choice.

Frank

With only one memento to burn, and very few options should it fail, I suggest that yes, we go with the safest choice. But it means we must be mindful of the… flammability of the tether’s position.

Leo

Right. Yeah. Which is deeply

inconvenient when everything in this place is just plain wood. Could really do with a stone font right about now.

Riley

Your Catholicism is–

Leo

Yes, yeah, the catholicism again.

[SFX: Julia huffs a little as she rams a door off to the side, door being broken down]

Leo

What the–

Riley

Julia’s breaking doors down again.

Leo

Why?!

Julia

(VOICE DISTANT AND MUFFLED) Breaking into the back room. There’s usually a kitchen or something back here, right?

[SFX: Rummaging]

Perfect!

[SFX: Footsteps]

(VOICE CLOSER) Casserole dish.

Riley

Biggest casserole dish I’ve ever seen.

Julia

Churches feed the poor, right? Lot of people to feed.

Leo

Oh! Okay th- yeah, that… makes sense, I think. Uh, okay, so… Julia, can you please put the casserole dish just on top of the tether here?

[SFX: Casserole dish placed on the tether]

Leo

And in goes the jumper.

[SFX: Fabric rustle]

Frank

And the petrol.

[SFX: Petrol being poured]

Frank

Mx. Matkins. Take the matches. When it is time, the pleasure of burning this jumper is owed to you.

[SFX: Frank produces matches, Riley takes them]

Riley

Couldn’t agree more. Thanks. But Frank? Don’t think I’ve forgotten that this is all your fault. Grateful as I am that you’ve been, for whatever reason, helping, I still haven’t forgotten. You are the reason Nathaniel is out for revenge. You might be helping us get rid of him, but you’re the reason I went through this hell in the first place. You have to live with that, I suppose.

Leo

(BEAT, THEN AWKWARDLY) Um. Right, so I’m going to turn the recorder on. I’d like to speak to him, before we move him on. And you too, Riley. I think you deserve a chance to face him head on. If you want it.

Riley

Yeah, I’ve got some things to say, for sure.

Leo

Yeah, I thought so. When he starts to slip, I’ll read the passage Whitley shared with me. When it’s close to the end, Riley, you set the jumper on fire.

Riley

With pleasure.

Leo

Alright.

[SFX: Ghost recorder turns on, Nathaniel’s stasis capsule opens]

Nathaniel Gilbert.

Nathaniel

Leo Quinn. You’ve brought me here. It’s just how I remember it. And a fitting end to all of this, isn’t it?

Leo

We needed it to be here. To help you pass on.

Nathaniel

All this for me? You spoil me. And after that wonderful little show you all put on for my benefit last night. I really thought you were going to let your friend die just to save your own lives.

Riley

I’d have done it gladly if it meant dragging you down to hell with me.

Nathaniel

(DRY LAUGH) I’m sure you would. It was the only reason I left when I did. Sinners are so often determined to drag others to damnation alongside them.

Riley

Yeah, you’d know, of course. Not sure where possession falls on the list of cardinal sins, but considering you were planning on murdering us, I don’t think it matters in the grand scheme of things.

Nathaniel

Murder is an interesting word for what I have planned. Absolution might be more apt.

Leo

Oh, it’s funny you mention absolution, actually. Because since we last spoke, I’ve talked to quite a few of your… acquaintances. You were so big on forgiveness. You went about it in entirely the wrong way, but it was like, your whole thing. “it’s never too late to ask forgiveness”. So why did you drop that idea when it came to us? How is it that you decided that we crossed enough lines to deserve to die?

Nathaniel

When a person… lives through the things I lived through. When a person suffers intensely enough, for long enough… It leaves a mark. It forces you to reconsider some things.

I did not lose my ideology, and I stand by my sentiment. It’s only my methods that have changed. Too many sinners are resistant to the help I offer, but I learned something in Frank Williamson’s lab. I learned that the best way to help others is to force them to accept absolution. I really do plan to save you all. I could send you all to the Lord, from whom you could seek forgiveness for your sins.

(PAUSE) Except Frank. Perhaps my ideals did slip just a little in that lab. Frank, I do not intend to save. Frank I intend to butcher. To savour in his agonies as he savoured in mine. Frank Williamson’s death, his screams, his torment, is what runs through my body in place of blood. I intend to send Frank Williamson to hell, writhing in agony.

Riley

Lot of present tense for someone who’s about to leave this plane for good.

Nathaniel

My intentions have not changed, regardless of my circumstances.

Leo

And what about Ben?

Nathaniel

(FURY SLIPPING THROUGH THE CALM MASK) Take my brother’s name out of your mouth, filth.

Riley

Oh, struck a nerve, have we?

Leo

I only ask because… Because Nathaniel, I’m desperately trying to find some shred of humanity in you. And honestly, I’ve gotta say I’m struggling. But your brother… he came to visit you on your deathbed. After years of bigotry from his own brother, he still came, seeking some kind of reconciliation. Reconciliation that you were unable or unwilling to provide.

So he left, and you died alone. And all I can wonder is… is that why your spirit stayed behind in that hospital? Do you regret, at all, the way things ended?

Nathaniel

I do regret my final conversation with Ben. Not in the way you seem to want me to, though. I regret that after all those years, he still would not hear my pleas. I can only hope he found the forgiveness I so desperately sought for him.

Riley

He died. Happy, and in the arms of his… oh, husband.

Nathaniel

Then I can only hope he came face to face with his sins after death, and begged forgiveness at the gates.

Leo

He actually–

Riley

There’s no point. You’re looking for humanity in a sick, twisted man. Who only got sicker and more twisted when he was traumatised by your little father-figure over there.

Leo

I can’t accept that. There’s humanity in everyone. That’s the whole point. That’s- it’s the whole point. There’s humanity in me, trauma didn’t change that. And there’s… damn it, there’s humanity in the spirit that hurt me. Reliving his own trauma. Just because I haven’t found it yet doesn’t mean it isn’t there. I have to believe that’s true for Nathaniel too.

Riley

That’s a great breakthrough Leo, but is now really the time? Just get rid of him. Just move him on and maybe we’ll all finally get some fucking peace.

Nathaniel

No! Wait! You want me to prove my humanity? Let me remain. Frank Williamson must die, but the world will be better for it. If you give me this, I will leave the rest of you alone. I’ll give you the rest of your long lives to recover from Frank’s influence. Absolve yourselves on earth before you face final judgement. Just let me stay. Let me do this. It’s all I have. It’s all I’ve had through years of suffering. Please. Leo. Riley-

Riley

(LOSING THEIR COOL COMPLETELY) Don’t even fucking try with me! Leo might have a bleeding heart but y’know what I’ve got? I’ve got a headache that’s stuck around for six months straight. And I’m about to finally get fucking rid of it.

Leo

Are you sure? There’s nothing else you want to say?

Riley

(SUCKS TEETH) Nothing that’ll achieve anything useful.

Leo

Alright. I really do hope you rest in peace, Nathaniel. For our sakes if nothing else. (BEAT)

[SFX: Paper unfolding]

Wayward spirit–

Nathaniel

No! Don’t you dare!

Leo

–clinging to a life no longer your own, I free you.

Nathaniel

You can remove me–

Leo

(LOUDER) Lost shadow, remembering a world no longer your own, I guide you.

Nathaniel

But you cannot undo my work. You cannot alter the truth in what I’ve said.

Leo

This world no longer serves you. This life ceases to preserve you.

Nathaniel

(VOICE BECOMING MORE DISTORTED, FAINTER) You all must beg forgiveness. If not now, then later. The reckoning will come!

Leo

(VOICE BECOMING MORE REVERBERANT) A new life, a new world, await. Be neither shadow nor spirit, but whole once more.

Frank

Mx. Matkins. Will you do the honours?

Riley

Gladly.

[SFX: Match lighting]

Leo

(VOICE REVERBERATING) Restless soul–

Nathaniel

No!

[SFX: Jumper going up in flames]

Leo

–I release you. Be guided, be free, be at rest.

[SFX: Flames rise suddenly, along with reverberant wooshing. When it stops, the fire continues for a few more moments before burning out.]

Leo

(LONG PAUSE) Did… Did it work?

Riley

Nothing on the EMF meter.

[SFX: Ghost recorder is switched off, spirit plane background noise ends.]

Frank

I’ve never felt anything like it.

Leo

What?

Frank

He passed through. I felt him leave.

Julia

(HORRIFIED) What do you mean you felt him leave?

Leo

(DISTRACTED) Frank’s got a kind of one-foot-in one-foot-out situation with the spirit plane. It’s a long story.

Riley

Yeah, what with everything that’s been going on, you haven’t exactly had time to explain the whole Frank’s a ghost thing and I’m going to need some details now that it’s over.

Leo

(BEAT) It’s over.

Frank

It is, Leonardo. He… He did not simply disappear. He was not removed. It was indescribable. He passed through. To somewhere. But he is no longer on this plane.

Leo

(LONG PAUSE) We did it.

Julia

(SMILING) We did it, Leo.

Leo

(IN SHOCK) Holy shit… (LAUGHING) Holy shit, we moved someone on!

Julia

(LAUGHING) We moved someone on!

[SFX: Fabric rustle as Julia hugs Leo]

Leo

(LAUGHTER, MUFFLED BY JULIA’S SHOULDER) We did it.

Riley

(LONG PAUSE, THEN CLEARS THROAT) Awfully long hug there, folks.

[SFX: Fabric rustle as both Leo and Julia jump apart]

Leo

(AWKWARD LAUGH) Sorry.

Julia

(AWKWARDLY) No! It’s… Friends hug!

Leo

Yeah!

Julia

Ri, don’t think you’re getting out of here without a hug. C’mere you big nerd, we just moved a whole entire spirit on.

[SFX: Footsteps as Julia rushes to Riley, who runs away, sound panning slightly to one side]

Riley

But my fragile, envenomed body!

Leo

(LAUGHING)

Frank

(APPROACHING) Well done, Leonardo.

Leo

Not just me. All of us. You too, Frank.

Frank

Mmm. Perhaps.

Leo

Oh shut up, and be happy with us, Frank.

[SFX: YET another fabric rustle as Leo hugs Frank]

Leo

We. Did it.

Frank

Well, quite. Yes. We certainly did.

[SFX: Frank hugs them back, awkward pats]

Riley

Frank! Get over here!

Frank

I don’t think- that’s hardly-

Riley

Not for a hug, Frank.

[SFX: Riley punches Frank]

Leo

Riley!

Riley

That’s for being the reason this all happened in the first place.

Leo

Are you okay, Frank?

Riley

He’s fine. It was less than he deserved.

[SFX: Frank straightens up, rubbing his face]

Frank

I suppose… given the circumstances…

Julia

Do you guys know what this means?

Leo

(STILL A BIT DISTRACTED AT FIRST) It- uh. It means so many different things. It means we can save the spirit plane. It means, for the first time in over a century, we can help spirits. Like, properly actually help them–

Julia

And it means we have knowledge that we thought was lost to time. And now it’s our duty to share it.

Leo

Yeah. Yes, it’s… we can’t make the same mistake as Mortui Non Morden, we need to-

Julia

I’m going to write my PhD on this. I’m going to write my PhD, become an unparalleled figure in Paranormal Theology academic circles, and then I’m going to publish it. Open access. So that this ritual never gets lost to time again.

Leo

That is… God, you could change the world with that, Julia. Just–

Frank

Just one condition.

Julia

I’m not going to let you stop me Frank. I haven’t signed any NDAs, go on, try and stop me, see what happens.

Frank

Did I say I was going to stop you, Ms. Wilde? Please let me finish, before you make assumptions. My only condition is that you credit me. I do not need co-authorship, but I would like to be noted in your publication as having assisted in your research. The acknowledgements, at a minimum.

Leo

Wait, Frank, you’re actually okay with her publishing this? Publishing Mortui Non Morden’s most closely guarded secret, open access?

Frank

Nothing would disappoint my father more.

Leo

But this- I mean, this would mean the end of Better Place. The scandal alone, once it gets out that you haven’t been moving spirits on until now. But also the loss of business. Once the world knows how to help a spirit pass on, do you really think they’d wanna pay a small fortune for Better Place to do it for them?

Julia

Jesus, Leo, whose side are you on?

Leo

I’m not trying to change his mind I’m just- I just want to make sure he understands what this means for Better Place.

Frank

I understand, Leonardo. Do you not feel that? The walls closing in? Better Place’s final days have already begun. There is no use in clinging to its corpse.

I have made many names for myself over the years, but none of them will be looked upon kindly by history. Being a part of this. Helping all of you. It is my final chance to amend that.

Riley

Well. That’s surprisingly honourable of you Frank.

Leo

(SOFTLY) Yeah. Yeah, it really is.

Frank

Do not think too highly of me just yet. Our work is just beginning. Mx. Matkins and Ms. Wilde, I will extend the offer of new contracts, as I did for Leonardo. And before you all get riled up, no, they will not include a non-disclosure addendum. There is a lot of work to be getting on with, and your current jobs serve as unecessary distraction. The spirit plane continues to fracture, and moving the spirits on is hardly an efficient process. It will be very hard work to do so in a way that has any meaningful impact.

Riley

Right. If we can only move on, what, maybe three spirits a month? Then, yeah. The odds of getting through the backlog before more damage is done are… not great.

Leo

But we’re going to try, though, right? We’re just gonna have to… give it our everything, because it’s all we can do.

Riley

Yeah. Yeah, that’s exactly what we’re going to do, you know? Fuck the odds.

Closing theme begins

Leon:

This episode of Tell No Tales was written and produced by Leon Egan. In it, you heard the voices of Leon Egan as Leo, Phil Thompson as Riley, Shannon Kelly as Julia, Asher Amor-Train as Frank, and Ty Von as Nathaniel. So this is it, the final episode of season two. It took a while, but we got here. Don’t worry though, it won’t be long before you’re hearing from me again. We’ll be back on this feed soon with some exciting announcements, and our post-season Q&A. There is one more season left to tell in this tale, and the scripts are already underway. This story has such a special place in my heart, and I can’t wait to share with you how it ends. So, keep watching the feed and in the meantime, as always, thank you for listening, and remember: the dead don’t bite.

Closing theme ends

Ty

(SINGING THE GHOSTBUSTERS THEME) Who you gonna call? Leo Quinn! Riley Matkins! Riley motherfuckin’ Matkins! And… Julia… I forget their last name, oh my god… Wilde, thank you Rowan, Julia Wiiillddeee… (SINGS MELODY) GILBERT BUSTERS!