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Leanne:

Wasting Company Time presents Tell No Tales, Episode Twenty-Two: Patron of Departed Souls

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[SFX: Recording Begins]

[SFX: Classical music playing]

Leo:

Audio diary of Leo Quinn, assistant to Frank Williamson, director of Better Place, and I am… Distracting myself. I am distracting myself, because it seems, against all my better judgment, against all my protestations, we are breaking into the warehouse tonight. Because Riley and Julia are apparently done fucking around, and now it’s time to find out. And once we do, that’s— that’s it. Julia’s going to use Frank’s access code to the armoury to get us some equipment that might help us out. And he might not find out right away, but he’ll know at some point. And she says she’ll take the fall, so me and Riley don’t need to lose our jobs too, but a) we can’t let her do that, and b) he’d figure it out, he’ll know she took three sets of equipment, and he’ll figure out that we worked together so no… this is it. Whatever we find, or don’t find, in that warehouse, it’s our last chance. That and these audio diaries are all we’ll have to take Better Place down and then, I mean, then we’ll have to figure out a way to explain all this on our CVs. (PITCHILY) So that’ll be fun! So, yeah, this could pretty much be my last interview. I’ve got some time. Frank apparently stays in the warehouse most nights until about one in the morning, so Julia wants us to break in at two. Which means I’ve got tonight. I’ve got tonight to do one more case. I’ve got…

[SFX: Rifling through papers]

I mean, I’ve got a few, I’d been stockpiling them, because I didn’t know when I’d next be able to— how do I choose? How do I say, this file, this spirit, you get to have your voice heard, the rest of you, forget it, your case file didn’t sell it well enough? (GROANS, THEN LONG PAUSE). No. No, not any of these cases. I’m not interviewing anyone new today. I know where I need to go. Not just for her but for… Yeah, no, I know who I need to speak to.

[SFX: Recording Ends]

[SFX: Recording Begins]

Leo:

(WHISPERING) Okay so, I’m just waiting for—

[SFX: Door opening, footsteps]

Fr. Matthew:

Leo, thanks for waiting. I’m glad you called.

Leo:

Thank you, Father Matthew. I’m so sorry about this, about the short notice and the… Late hour.

Fr. Matthew:

No apologies necessary, the church stays open to those who need it. And you’re doing us a kindness too.

Leo:

Yeah, it’s not much, but it’s all I can do.

Fr. Matthew:

It’s a lot to us. I know I mentioned last time that Lilian was an important part of this community, we all cared for her. To be able to hear her voice again, even just the small snippet you we able to give us last time, that’s more than not much.

Leo:

Well, hopefully I can leave you with more than a snippet this time. Mind if I start? I brought my laptop, so once it’s done I can probably just play it for you right away.

Fr. Matthew:

Of course, would you like me to stay, while you speak to her?

Leo:

I mean, you can, if you want. But you don’t have to.

Fr. Matthew:

I think I’d like to. Even if we can’t hear her right away, I find listening is a very important part of my job. Connecting. I think it’s possible to do that, even if we can’t hear what she’s saying.

Leo:

(SMALL LAUGH) Yeah. I know exactly what you mean. Okay. Let me just get this set up.

[SFX: Recording Ends]

[SFX: Recording Begins]

Leo:

Okay, okay I think… Yeah, all sorted. Thanks for waiting. I know it can be frustrating, the conversation being so… asynchronous, I guess?

Fr. Matthew:

Most conversations are, in my vocation.

Leo:

Wh- you mean? Oh, like with, like, God, and stuff. I suppose, that makes- yeah, sorry, anyway, ready to hear it?

Fr. Matthew:

(CHUCKLING) Absolutely

[SFX: Mouse clicks]

Leo (On Recording):

Hi, Mrs. Daniels, I’m not sure how well you remember me, I’m Leo, I work for… against… Better Place, I brought in a recorder last time I was here, to capture your voice, but it didn’t work. Not very well, anyway. It only caught snippets, but I wanted to give you a real chance to have your voice heard, just in case… Just in case I don’t get to again. So, could you start by telling me a bit about yourself, your basic details?

Lilian:

Please, love. Enough with the Mrs. Daniels nonsense, my name is Lilian and I insist on you using it. I insisted last time too, though I suppose you didn’t hear that, so I’ll let it slide. I was born the eighth of October, 1929. According to the plaque on that wall over there, I died in my sleep in August 2016, though that wasn’t something that I’d have known, otherwise. You don’t think to note the date, when you don’t know anything’s going to happen, do you?

Leo:

And can you tell me a bit about your life?

Lilian:

Oh, I had a lovely, full life. I’m sure so many people must say that at my age, but I really did. Nearly ninety years of happiness. I moved to this parish in, oh, 1951, it must have been? Not long after I married my Rupert. Could have been 1952. We were married in the winter see, and there were a few months before we moved. Either way, it was a long time ago, I can tell you that. I was only twenty-two years old. Young, never tired, nothing ever ached, and I’m sure neither you nor the Lord will mind my pride too much if I say, beautiful. You never feel beautiful do you, until years later you see an old photograph, and you think, “who is this? who is this beautiful young woman who couldn’t possibly be me?” But I was. And I had a little over forty years with my husband. And I had my Sharon, my lovely daughter, happy and all grown up, if a bit too far away now for my tastes. Then grandkids, and great grandkids even, all in Australia but all in touch. All still in my heart.

And when my Rupert passed and Sharon flew back to Australia after the funeral, there was pain, of course. There was unbearable grief and a life changed beyond comprehension and so, so much hurt. But never loneliness. I was never lonely. For two reasons, really. The first was my other family. My community. Father Matthew, who himself was only new by this point, but had already fit right in. There were my friends, a small but devoted parish, most of whom were widows themselves, and I was mother and grandmother to the younger ones. Those first weeks after Rupert passed I thought my life might be over. But it wasn’t. A new life was beginning. A life where I became more involved in this church than ever, a life where there was never a dull moment, never a lonely moment, never a bored moment. Just pure, lovely chaos. And the second reason I was never lonely was God. I always knew he was listening. I knew he had my Rupert, that both were waiting for me. Turns out, He had other plans for me. But that’s okay, too. I’m still happy. Still with my community, here. Still with my family. I have faith that I’ll be reunited with Rupert some day, but for now, I’m serving my community still, as is His will.

Leo:

And what about your afterlife, what it’s been like here at St. Joseph’s?

Lilian:

It’s been marvelous. I’m not sure if that’s what you expected. Maybe I could lie and say there has been some hardship, some agonising and pining for my old vitality, but I feel more alive than I did in my aching eighty-year-old body. And, I’ve never felt closer to God. Truly. There was some confusion, of course, when I first became aware of what had happened. It was strange for a few years, I felt oddly distant from myself. My thoughts so scattered, like I filled the whole room but nothing of myself was quite in grasp, but even then, my faith guided me. I understood enough to know that whatever was happening, it was in His plan, and I was calm. Maybe calmer than any living human has been. A true serenity, of knowing that the rest of me was just out of reach but that it was okay. That in time, things would come together. Mthoughts, my God, and my community would all be there for me when I needed them. And they all were, eventually. I slowly began to feel stronger, less scattered. And I began to notice the presence of those around me and they began to notice me too. I did what I could to lift their spirits. Being a silent observer makes you very perceptive. I could see who was struggling, who felt alone. I could do everything in my power to impart the sense of love and belonging on them that I so often needed from my community in life. I’m told that in time, I’ll grow even stronger. Eventually, Father Matthew — he’s been on the Google — he says I’ll be able to touch things. Move things. I’ll be able to help out in a more practical sense again. And I’ll be content in that, until the Lord decides my time here has come to an end. What is a few more decades, after all? In the scope of the eternal kingdom of Heaven?

Leo:

And I know Better Place was almost asked to remove you but Father Matthew cancelled the call-out when he realised who you were, can you confirm what your feelings are on this?

Lilian:

I will not be taken away by Better Place. I love it here, I love my family. I don’t know what Better Place intend to do with my soul once they have it, but I don’t expect them to handle the situation better than God would. When my time here comes to an end, it will be through His will and His alone.

Leo:

Thanks, Mrs. Daniels. Thanks for speaking to me again, I know it must be annoying to have to repeat so much of this. But, is there anything else you’d like to say before I turn the recorder off?

Lilian:

Only a thank you, to Father Matthew. A thank you, for your kindness, for being so welcoming to me, even in death. Pass on my love to the parish in your next sermon. Pass on my love to my daughter, when she visits, and all of my grandkids. But mostly, I don’t need words. Most of the time, I find a warm presence does the job just fine.

Leo:

(NO LONGER ON RECORDING) I can send you that, if you like?

[Ambience: Somber music fades in]

Fr. Matthew:

(VOICE THICK) Y- Yes, please, if you wouldn’t mind. That would be lovely. I’ve been in contact with Sharon, who’s coming to visit soon, I’d like to show her, and her daughters. I- Of course, Lilian, of course I’ll pass on your love in the next sermon. But please don’t thank me for my kindness. It’s only the same kindness you paid me when I was young, new to the parish. An outsider left with the monumental task of filling the space left behind in Father Thomas’s wake. Nothing I can do now can ever completely repay that.

[SFX: Whooshing sound]

Fr. Matthew:

(GASPS)

Leo:

You felt that too?

Fr. Matthew:

Stronger than she’s ever been.

Leo:

She’ll be a category three soon, I think. I’m really glad she’s settled here.

Fr. Matthew:

We are too.

Leo:

(LONG PAUSE). H-How does it work, Father? Your faith, and Lilian’s spirit. She talks a lot about God’s plan for her, but how can… If there’s a heaven, how is she…

Fr. Matthew:

There’s a lot we don’t understand about spirits. God too, for that matter.

Leo:

When I was a kid they used to condemn ghosts in mass. The only spirit that mattered was the holy spirit. Anyone else must have done something terrible to wind up in purgatory.

Fr. Matthew:

The church… The church has come a long way since then.

Leo:

Has it, though? I mean, you’re lovely, and I’m sure Mrs. Daniels- Lilian, I mean, is lovely. But the church you represent? The church that preaches guilt and hate? The one that taught me fire and brimstone when I was coming to terms with my identity. The one that tore our family apart when my brother… I’m sorry. It’s just. With my job, it’s hard to see any kind of bigger plan in what’s happening to these spirits. And please, don’t… with the footsteps in the sand and the God’s plan is not for us to understand and… Ugh, god sorry, that was so rude, I just. I was raised Catholic, I’ve heard it all before.

Fr. Matthew:

I understand. I don’t have to advise you, if that isn’t what you need. I can listen. You must spend so much of your time listening to spirits. I wonder if you ever have anybody do the same for you?

Leo:

(CRYING SOFTLY, THEN VOICE BREAKING) I—

[SFX: Front door opening heavily, footsteps]

Leo:

Riley? Sorry, father, this is my friend. I didn’t think they even— do you mind?

Fr. Matthew:

Of course, I’ll leave you two for the time being.

Leo:

Thanks.

[SFX: Fr. Matthew’s footsteps leaving, door closing, Riley sitting down]

[Ambience: Heartfelt music fades in]

Riley:

Thought I’d find you here.

Leo:

How could you have possibly thought that?

Riley:

Hey, we’ve been friends for what, near twenty years now? Don’t underestimate me. I was there, when Noah died, remember? I saw what your mum went through, after.

Leo:

St Joseph, Patron of departed souls, pray for him.

Riley:

Exactly. And you showed me the audio diary of the first time you interviewed Mrs. Daniels. How is she, by the way?

Leo:

Good. She’s good. She’s living a life here, you know? She came so close to being… Whatever happens when Better Place take them away.

Riley:

Do you think he’s still there?

Leo:

What do you mean?

Riley:

I know you’ve thought about it. It was one of the first things that crossed my mind when Julia told us they were storing the spirits indefinitely, I know it crossed your mind too.

Leo:

I… Yeah. No, it did. First thing I thought. And then I tried really hard to not think about it.

Riley:

Did it work?

Leo:

I’m here, aren’t I?

Riley:

If he is, we’ll do something about it. I promise. That’s the point, isn’t it? Bringing an end to whatever Better Place is doing.

Leo:

Maybe. There’s a lot of ifs though.

Riley:

Yeah. Yeah, there is. And you don’t have to get your hopes up or anything. Just. If Noah is in that warehouse, he won’t suffer for much longer. Not if I can help it.

Leo:

Thanks, Riley. Thank you. I love you, you know that?

Riley:

I do. I love you too, dickhead.

Leo:

(SMALL LAUGH) What time is it?

Riley:

Half one. She’s ready for us.

Leo:

Crap. Are you? Ready, I mean?

Riley:

No. But I’m going to do it anyway.

Leo:

Yeah. Yeah, I suppose I will too.

[SFX: Recording ends]

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Leanne:

Episode Twenty-Two of Tell No Tales, Patron of Departed Souls, was written and performed by Leanne Egan. You also heard the voices of Will Pryce as Fr. Matthew, Courtney Levin as Lilian Daniels, and Phil Thompson as Riley. If you enjoyed this episode, the best way to support the show is to spread the word. Leaving us a rating and review in your listening app of choice is a huge help, or you can follow us on Twitter or Tumblr @tellnotalespod Links and information about transcripts can be found in the show notes. Tell No Tales is distributed by Wasting Company Time Productions, under a Creative Commons attribution non-commercial share-alike 4.0 international license. Thank you for listening, and remember: the dead don’t bite.

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