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Leanne:

Wasting Company Time presents Tell No Tales, Episode Nine: Make Peace

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[SFX: Recording Begins, Classical Music Playing]

Leo:

Audio diary of Leo Quinn, assistant to Frank Williamson, director of Better Place. Just me today. Riley’s been an angel but… I need to do this on my own. Or, I need to know that I’m able to do this on my own. I think it’s the only way it’s going to get easier. Just, keep going until it isn’t scary any more. Even Frank’s been acting all concerned. And uh, I cannot stress this enough, I have never seen Frank express an emotion in my life. So if I’m doing such a bad job of hiding the sleepless nights that even Director-Droid is asking me if I’m “quite well” then, something’s gonna have to change. So that’s what this case is for. Riley sent it over because the spirit is confirmed to be… gentle. Which helps. Really, it does. (CLEARS THROAT)

Case AH#2197, Category 3, Case status-Unresolved. Uh, looks like the initial report was pretty standard, transcript of a phone call talking about a haunting at St. Joseph’s church in Muswell Hill. The priest talks about the usual stuff in the call, all the normal category one feelings, which then progress into strange category two manifestations. That’s not the weird part though, the weird part is the follow-up email we’ve got on file, sent shortly before the dispatchers were meant to arrive.

Dear Louisa, Many thanks for your kind assistance regarding the arrangement of dispatchers to be sent to the church. While I’m grateful for your help, I’m afraid we no longer wish to move forward with the removal of the spirit. It may seem strange, but we have reason to believe that the spirit belongs to a long-cherished member of our parish, one Mrs. Lilian Daniels. Further, we suspect that her presence at the church is a welcome one, on behalf of both the churchgoers, and Mrs. Daniels herself. We do not wish to be too hasty with her removal, and will trust instead in God’s plan. If we have faith that He does not make mistakes, then we must accept that Mrs. Daniels’s spirit has remained in our world for a reason. Thanks again for your help, Fr. Matthew Richardson.

So, yeah, I can see why Riley thought that would intrigue me. I’ve contacted the priest. Again, probably a bad idea to be using contact info from these files — all it takes is one client to take offense and lodge an official complaint — but, I mean, it’s fine, he seemed grateful someone was willing to help communicate with her. He’s going to let me in tomorrow evening, keeping the church empty to give me a chance to interview her with the recorder. Which, I’ve tweaked. I’ve tweaked a lot. I don’t want to get my hopes up again, but it’s undergone a lot of improvements to the way it picks up sound since the last failed attempt. Either it’ll work or it won’t, I’m… going to deal with it either way, but, statistically, it has a much better chance of working than last time. So that’s something. At least. Uh, more after I visit the church, I suppose.

[SFX: Recording Ends]

[SFX: Recording Begins, Mouse clicks and classical Music begins playing]

Leo:

So that was… I don’t wanna say revelatory? That feels like a bit much. But it was intense that’s for sure. Even just the smell of a Catholic Church is a lot for me though. Smells like childhood masses and school assemblies. That wasn’t my main concern though, you know? I er, I may have had my issues with the Catholic Church as a teenager but I’ve made my peace with that by now. It’s what was waiting inside for me that was the main issue. Father Matthew found me outside, sat on the ground, having a whole entire panic attack, about twenty minutes after we agreed I’d show, which, not ideal. But he just sat down next to me. And I won’t lie, it all got a bit “forgive me father” which felt ridiculous but it… kind of helped. I’m not sure he was acting as a conduit for God or anything in that moment, especially since I’m not sure it actually counts if you’re sitting with your backs against the outside wall of the church instead of being inside it. So no, I didn’t chat with God through him but he was a person who wanted to help, to listen. And that’s what I needed I think. He asked me what was wrong, and he let me tell him, in my own time, why I didn’t feel like I could face Mrs. Daniels. So, side note, think I’m going to have to start saving to go back to therapy because that right there? Magnificent. Delicious. Finally some good serotonin. It’s almost as if working through trauma instead of repressing it can… help? Anyway, saving that breakthrough for my actual therapist when I get back in touch with her. So yeah, after I talked to him, he talked to me. He told me about Mrs. Daniels, who she had been in life, how devoted she’d been to the church for about 65 years, since she moved to the area after marrying her husband at twenty years old. All stuff the research team had found, but it felt different hearing it from somebody who knew her.

[SFX:Classical music fades out, heartfelt atmospheric music fades in]

After her husband died, her daughter grown up and living in Australia, she became even more devoted to the church and the community. That was only a few years after Fr. Matthew took over, and she had basically become his mentor, introduced him to the parishioners, organised all the fundraising, the community events. Her funeral was the biggest turnout the parish has seen. It took a few years for her spirit to manifest as a category one, he told me. They didn’t notice it right away, because she didn’t manifest in a way that screams ghost. Or at least in a way that would pull up the answer of ghost after googling it. Sure there was that feeling of… something, but it was warmer, less a feeling of being watched and more a feeling of being… Well he described it as feeling seen. They reported her when she started manifesting as a category two almost ten years later. It started with small things, gusts of wind, the light coming through the stained glass strangely and unnaturally, and then… so, apparently a few too many parishioners started having the same religious experience during mass. The same bright light appearing from no apparent source, the same hymns being played by the organ without anyone there to play them. That was when they realised who she was, that she was harmless, as much part of the community as any living soul in there. So they’ve decided to let her stay, at least until she manifests to a strong enough category three to make her own feelings on the subject known.

It helped a bit, hearing about the woman on the other side of the door. The kind, helpful, beloved woman who no longer has a voice. The exact kind of spirit that I’m fighting to help here. And after a while he helped me stand — which felt ridiculous because he’s gotta be at least eighty and he was offering me a hand up — and we went inside. I felt it right away. That strange feeling. So similar to all the other ghosts but just off enough to feel… uncanny. Like the difference between a smirk and a genuine smile. Same thing on paper but… it’s a feeling. He offered to stay while I talked to her, but that felt kinda like… Missing the point of trying to find out if I could do it on my own, so he stepped out for a bit while I settled into the pews.

“Hi, Mrs. Daniels,” I called out, and I felt that warmth embrace me as if in answer and it felt like it should have been impossible to feel afraid in that moment but I did. I really, really did. But I didn’t seem to be about to have another panic attack, so I pushed on. “Your community really loves you, you know. I’ve only ever seen one other spirit with an after-life support network, and he’s able to write witty notes to them. You don’t even have that advantage so I’d say you’re kind killing it on that front.” There was a sound from the organ, a shuddering of strange, gentle notes. I think it was laughter. Or the closest approximation she had to audible laughter. “So I have this recorder,” I told her, holding it up for her to see, even though I didn’t really know where she was. Nobody’s actually 100% sure whether category ones and twos are, anywhere, really, or just kind of everywhere. But I held it up for her, just in case. “If you’re willing to talk to me, I think it could capture your voice. Which could help Father Matthews understand if you’d like to stay, or if you’d prefer for Better Place to come and help you…” I struggled for a second. I didn’t want to say ‘move on.’ Didn’t want to imply to a religious woman that dispatchers would get her into heaven. It felt like too much of a lie, even without knowing for sure. “Help you leave,” I settled on. A small light burst forth from the ceiling, which — a bit too on the nose if you ask me but, I took it as a yes, turned my recorder on, and let her talk. The built in EMF meter still gives out digital real-time readings, so even though I couldn’t play it back right away, I knew when she was speaking and when she wasn’t. We stayed there for a long time, her talking, me listening, breathing in that smell, that old familiar smell, letting my breaths grow steadier and steadier. I will get over this. One ghost at a time. When she was done, I went back to speak to Father Matthew, thanked them both for their time, and collapsed right into bed.

[SFX: Atmospheric music fades out, classical music fades back in]

I don’t know if you’ve ever had a panic attack but it’s kind of knackering, yknow? Knackering enough that I didn’t even have the energy to stop and see if it worked. But I’ve got an empty office again now and I’ve transferred the file over, time to see if it worked.

[SFX: Mouse clicks and classical music stops]

I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna press play. I swear I am. I’m gonna do it…. Any second now. (DEEP BREATH) Christ’s sake pull it together Leo, okay. Okay.

[SFX: Mouse clicks, then playback starts to run. Less garbled than last time, but still mostly undecipherable. Mouse clicks again, and the recording stops]

Okay, not the end of the world. Not the end of the world, right? It sounds better than last time at least, so that’s… Let me just see if it’s the same the whole way through…

[SFX: Multiple clicks, as playback starts up in a different position each time, plays briefly, then stops, a number of times]

Lillian (On recording):

(Just barely audible) I haven’t lost my faith…. My purpose to be here, to keep helping…. Made peace with that.

[SFX: Mouse click, playback stops]

Leo:

(LONG EXHALE) Holy… those were words, right? Words!!! Actual words!!! Right??

[SFX: Mouse click, playback starts again]

Lillian (On recording):

(Just barely audible) I haven’t lost my faith…. My purpose to be here, to keep helping…. Made peace with that.

[SFX: Mouse click, playback stops]

Leo:

(SQUEALS) Oh my god. Oh my… Okay. Right. I can work with this. I can, uh, I can run it through some editing software maybe, see if I can clean up the audio a little, and… Actually, maybe that will help me figure out what’s making it so distorted, I can build in something to the recorder to clean up the audio in real time. I could… Woah. This could work. I’m gonna. Yeah, er… The workday is almost over, but I’m going to take my laptop home tonight and work on this for as long as it takes. (SQUEALS AGAIN) this could really work! Wish me luck!

[SFX: Recording Ends]

[SFX: Recording Begins]

Leo:

(SLEEPILY) Uh, post-script. It’s about three am. I’ve been working on this for a while. It’s coming together, I just. I remembered something. St. Joseph’s church. That’s where Mrs. Daniels was. I knew it was familiar. I’d almost forgotten. But there’s a part of the audio, it’s still barely audible but I realised I knew what she was saying because… I know it by heart. It’s the prayer to St. Joseph. Mum got really into praying to him directly during the last few… When Noah started getting really bad. It’s long, I won’t bore you with the whole thing, but the end I remember pretty vividly. “Saint Joseph, Patron of departed souls – pray for him.” Or, pray for me, I think it was supposed to be. Mum always said him. (SIGH THAT TURNS INTO A TIRED LAUGH). Ugh, it just… the universe has a sense of humour sometimes you know? Or… At least, a sense of, I dunno, symmetry? I wonder what Noah would think of this whole thing. I should get some sleep. I will. Er, soon. I’m just going to work on this a little bit longer…

[SFX: Recording Ends]

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Leanne:

Episode Nine of Tell No Tales, Make Peace, was written and performed by Leanne Egan. You also heard the voice of Courtney Levin as Lilian Daniels. If you enjoyed this episode, the best way to support the show is to spread the word. Leaving us a rating and review in your listening app of choice is a huge help, or you can follow us on Twitter or Tumblr @tellnotalespod Links and information about transcripts can be found in the show notes. Tell No Tales is distributed by Wasting Company Time Productions, under a Creative Commons attribution non-commercial share-alike 4.0 international license. Thank you for listening, and remember: the dead don’t bite.

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