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Leanne:

Wasting Company Time presents Tell No Tales, season two. Episode Fourteen: Fixing Things.

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[SFX: Classical music playing softly behind a closed door, footsteps as Leo paces]

FRANK

Leonardo, calm down. Let’s not jump to any conclusions.

LEO

I’m not jumping to conclusions, I’m doing the obvious maths! A month ago, the thought of (WHISPERING) spirit possession wouldn’t have even crossed my mind. I’d have laughed at you for even suggesting it. But you told me it’s possible. Not only that it’s possible, but that your lab replicated the only conditions in which it could have been possible for centuries. Y’know, the same lab where Riley suffered a mysterious injury that doesn’t seem to have healed in months. (A LITTLE UNHINGED) So tell me again I’m jumping to conclusions.

FRANK

I’m not saying the assumption is unreasonable, only that there is no use in panicking until we are certain. And we cannot be certain until we examine Mx. Matkins further.

LEO

They’re not going to agree to be examined. Least of all by you. I may have come to trust you, Frank, but they haven’t.

FRANK

Well- that is…. I am grateful that you have- (CLEARS THROAT). Mx. Matkins may not trust me, but they do trust you. If you truly do trust me in return, then I am sorry but the burden now falls on you to convince your friend to let me examine them.

LEO

That’s not going to be easy. I’m not doing so great in the friendship department right now.

FRANK

I understand that. Yet, they are here. Take it from somebody who has never found… vulnerability… particularly easy. They are here. And that means more than you might expect.

LEO

Uggghhhh, you’re right. You’re- yeah. You’re right. Thank you.

FRANK

I often am. I will leave you to speak to them again, but please do call me when they agree.

LEO

I’ll call you if they agree.

FRANK

Quite.

[SFX: Footsteps as Frank leaves, Leo opens door, music becomes clearer]

JULIA

Well? What did he say?

RILEY

Was it, (FRANK VOICE) People sleepwalk, Leonardo, it’s normal, get over it?

JULIA

Oh, yeah, it’s totally normal for you to have a whole fucked up conversation with us while totally unconcious.

RILEY

Uh, I was asleep? And dreams are weird.

LEO

Riley, Frank thinks it’s concerning too.

JULIA

See?!

RILEY

What does Frank know?

LEO

A lot, unfortunately. Some of which he’s deigned to share with me. Plenty I’m sure he hasn’t, too. But he wants to run some tests.

RILEY

Fuck that.

JULIA

Ri, Frank’s hardly my favourite person either, but I think-

RILEY

No, fuck that. Aside from the fact that I’m fine, even if I wasn’t, why would I let Frank go poking around in the temple that is my body?

LEO

I know you don’t trust him, you have no reason to, I know, but trust me.

RILEY

(SUDDENLY FURIOUS) Trust you? That is rich. You’ve already made it clear what two decades of friendship means to you. Yeah, sure, you’re talking to us now, because Mr. Boss Man convinced you to call us. I dropped everything to be here because you needed me. I will always be here when you need me Leo. But don’t you dare ask me to trust you. Not any more.

[SFX: Footsteps as Riley storms out, door slamming behind them]

JULIA

I’ll talk to them. Maybe just… I think they need some space. I’ll take them for a drive or something. You just… keep busy in the meantime, ok? I’ll get through to them

LEO

Yeah, uh… thanks, Julia.

[SFX: Music fades out]

[SFX: Recording begins]

LEO

Audio diary of Leo Quinn, Specialist Surveyor. (SLIGHTLY HYSTERICALLY) Might as well interview a ghost! It’s not like there’s anything else I can do. I can’t even think about the spirit plane right now, between Noah and Riley. But I’ve got to do something, if only to keep from driving myself mad. Except I’ve looked through about five different case files, and I can’t focus on any of them. And all I can think about was the last time I felt this… untethered. I made a promise to someone that I’d visit sooner next time. So, yeah. That’s where I’m going today I think. I’m heading back to Kensington Gardens.

[SFX: Recording ends]

[SFX: Recording begins, parakeets squawking, ghost-recorder is switched on]

LEO

Hi, Mickey.

MICKEY

Back so soon?

LEO

Again, I said I would!

MICKEY

Alright, maybe I should be a little less cynical. Thanks. Anyway, how’s it going with the mates you think hate you and the risotto-making devil?

LEO

Good memory.

MICKEY

I cannot stress enough that you are literally my only source of conversation.

LEO

Good point. It’s… I mean, my friends are speaking to me again, which is nice. They haven’t actually forgiven me, but I think you were right, they don’t hate me. And the boss is still being weirdly sweet. His risotto’s fantastic, too. There’s truffle in it.

MICKEY

Ugh, never liked truffle.

LEO

Me neither, I don’t think. I’m not sure I’d ever tried it, actually, but it sounded gross. Turns out I was wrong.

MICKEY

Look at you, on a streak of being wrong in a good way.

LEO

(LAUGHS) Yeah, I guess. How’s it going with the kid that visits?

MICKEY

Frustrating. He talks to me, his parents keep saying there’s no ghost here and he just won’t believe them, keeps asking me for a sign that I’m here, but it’s just getting harder. I thought I’d be able to like, touch and move things by now, but it’s even getting harder to do just my usual stuff.

LEO

Oh god.

MICKEY

Why so pale? Is that something I should be worried about?

LEO

No- no it’s… we’re working on it. You’re not the only one, though. How bad is it?

MICKEY

Well, I can still grow the apples. And I can connect with a parakeet or two at once. But I used to be able to… How do I explain this? It- it was like a hive mind, this mass-conciousness of all these parakeets that I could tap into, and they listened to me. I miss it.

LEO

Crap. Okay, you’ve still got some manifestations, though, so that’s good.

MICKEY

Don’t hold out on me, Leo. What’s happening to me?

LEO

It’s not you, it’s the spirit plane. It’s sort of… not a totally renewable energy source. Which historically has been mostly fine, but it’s a bit overcrowded at the minute. I promise we’re working on it though.

MICKEY

That’s why you’re working with your weird boss? You mentioned very very bad things happening. So, if it’s the same thing, then I appreciate your optimism but it doesn’t sound super optimistic right now, if I’m being honest.

LEO

It is the same thing, yes. But the optimism isn’t fake, I swear. Some of the spirits I’ve spoken to are kind of… regressing through the categories, losing their power. But you’ve still got some category two powers, so it must be gradual, right? Gradual enough for us to stop it happening before it goes too far.

And I’m sure once the spirit plane’s fixed you’ll keep moving forward, it doesn’t mean you’ll never be a category three. It does sort of explain though… I remember from your case file. You’d been a category two for a very long time. I just assumed- I mean, everyone moves at their own pace…

MICKEY

Yeah, my own pace would be a little faster than this, if I had any say in it.

LEO

Right. I am going to fix it though.

MICKEY

Got some grand plan I should know about?

LEO

Not exactly.

MICKEY

Alright. Well. Winging it works too.

LEO

How are you feeling?

MICKEY

Are you asking me for like, specific symptoms? As in there’s a Spirit Plane Sickness I might be diagnosed with? Or just checking in with me emotionally?

LEO

Both, I guess. Mostly the second one. But if you’re feeling physically uncomfortable or untethered in any way you should definitely tell me about it.

MICKEY

All good on the physical front, scout’s honour. If I had a list of complaints, I’d be sure to make you hear them, as the only person who currently can hear them.

Emotionally? Not too bad, actually. I’m dead, you know? I’ve come to terms with that. I thought this was the afterlife, but maybe it’s not eternity. I can be okay with that too. Better Place doesn’t get to decide when I call it quits, but otherwise, if my time’s up, I mean, I already got my fair share, didn’t I?

LEO

That’s impressively… chill of you.

MICKEY

Ha, being dead really helps with chill. I’m not saying I won’t be sad to see the afterlife go or anything. Things were just getting interesting. But, yeah, I suppose, that’s life, isn’t it? Or death.

LEO

I want you to get another chance. I mean, it’s not the same, I’ve never been a ghost. But my brother is. And he’s… due to a whole variety of circumstances, he didn’t get a chance. Now he’s here, but he’s also kind of not. (EMOTIONAL) It’s not fair, to give someone a half-shot at their second chance of life. Nobody gets a choice in whether they come back. Everyone who gets an afterlife forced on them should get the option to live that afterlife properly, if they want it.

MICKEY

Oh Leo, I’m so sorry about your brother.

LEO

It’s ok. I’m going to fix it. For both of you. For… everyone, if I can.

MICKEY

Seems a bit much to ask of one person.

LEO

No it’s… I’ve got my friends now.

MICKEY

And your weird boss.

LEO

(SMALL LAUGH) Yeah. Yeah, him too.

MICKEY

Leo?

LEO

Yeah?

MICKEY

You know how I have a history of ending these chats by asking you to come back, visit more, that kind of thing?

LEO

…Yeah.

MICKEY

Not this time. Just. Fix it, if you can. If you make any promise to me before you go, promise that you’ll fix it. I’ve been alone a long time, I can be alone a bit longer. Fix it so that you can keep visiting, in two, three, ten years’ time, ok? Fix it so that when that little boy comes back, twenty years from now, to get nostalgic about his childhood, I’m still here to give him a sign that magic exists.

LEO

I will. There’s nothing I want more. I promise I will.

MICKEY

Thanks, Leo.

[SFX: Recording ends]

[SFX: Recording begins, classical music plays]

LEO

Audio diary of Leo Quinn- no I already did that, I think. Whatever. I’m… Life feels kind of impossible to wade through right now. There are so many things that need my attention, and they’re all important. I put my stress about the spirit plane aside for a few days to stress about all of the other stuff going on right now, but everything I try to de-prioritise just comes snapping back sooner or later, all the stronger for having been ignored.

I knew this would happen. In theory, I knew that the gradual decline of the spirit plane meant that eventually, every spirit would be affected. But I don’t know… It’s stupid as hell, and I don’t think I really thought about it in such matter of fact terms, but I think there was a little reassuring voice in the back of my head telling me that we’d have longer before it happened to the spirits that I personally care about.

Which yeah, it’s stupid. Me caring about someone doesn’t make them any less at risk. Half the time these days it’s the other way around. But I’ve promised now. I’ve got to do something. And maybe sooner than I thought. Christ, this is too much-

[SFX: Gentle knock on open door, slight creak as door opens further]

Ah. Riley. Hi. I’m sorry, I can-

RILEY

No, stay. I’m not kicking you out of your own lab. (BEAT) Sorry for being a dick. It was deserved, but I am sorry anyway.

LEO

Thank you. I’m sorry for… everything.

RILEY

Yeah. Thanks. Julia explained a lot of it. (BEAT) You really fucked up, Leo.

LEO

I know. I’m sorry.

RILEY

Not just me who needs to hear about it.

LEO

Yeah. I know that too.

RILEY

You don’t even know she gives a shit about you, do you?

LEO

I mean, we’re friends, I’d hope she’d at least care a little bit-

RILEY

I am not talking about friends you absolute fucking moron. You should have seen her after you disappeared. She was checking her phone every five seconds. Didn’t really stop until she met Louisa.

LEO

Yeah, she mentioned they were going on a date.

RILEY

Yeah. They’ve gotten close. But I know Julia well enough to know that she doesn’t care about her the way she cared about you. You’d best get your shit together and fast, before she decides to go running into the arms of someone who didn’t drop off the face of the earth. I can’t say I’d blame her.

LEO

Yeah. (BEAT) No, I wouldn’t blame her either. It means a lot, though. That you both came last night. You had every reason not to.

RILEY

We’re pissed, we’re not evil.

LEO

No, I know.

RILEY

(BEAT) You just don’t work through any of it, do you?

LEO

What do you mean?

RILEY

Your grief, your trauma, you name it. You’re so good at pushing it down you forget that it isn’t a fucking solution. Nearly seven years, since Noah died, but you just let it all boil over, waiting for something like this to send you to breaking point again.

LEO

(DEFENSIVE) That’s hardly fair! My brother’s ghost coming back out of nowhere, twice, is a very unique situation.

RILEY

What about your panic attacks, then? I’d bet money on you still having them.

LEO

You’re the one who encouraged me to keep interviewing spirits after the attack!

RILEY

Yeah, ’cause I thought it’d help you process it, not ignore it. But your panic attacks got less intense, less frequent, and you just decided that actually you’re done having trauma now. All fixed.

LEO

(MUMBLED) Yeah, I learned from the best.

RILEY

(OFFENDED) What does that mean?

LEO

You, Riley! You’re always pushing your own feelings down, when nobody’s asking you to! You act like if you can’t be of use to everyone around you, you’re nothing. But the second the people who love you want to help-

RILEY

Alright, you’ve made your fucking point now.

LEO

(SOFTER) I don’t mean it as an insult, Riley. And I- I hear you, when you say I’ve got stuff to work through. It’s not my strong suit, but I’ll try. When all this is over. But please hear me, too. I love you. I know you don’t like to be helped. But even you need help sometimes.

RILEY

(LONG PAUSE, THEN RESIGNED) I’ll do your tests. Or Frank’s tests, or whatever. Something about the guy made you trust him enough to abandon us for months. And I hate to give him any credit, believe me, I hate it, but somehow he managed to convince you to pull your finger out of your arse and call us back, when neither me or Julia could manage that.

LEO

Thank you. (PAUSE, THEN CHOKED UP) Thank you, Riley.

[SFX: Leo throws themself into a hug with Riley, Riley makes a little oof]

LEO

(MUFFLED) I’ve missed you.

RILEY

(SIGHS) Yeah.

[SFX: Fabric rustle as Riley hugs Leo back, holds them for a moment, then lets them go with a small clap on the back]

I’ve missed you too, dickhead

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Leanne:

This episode of Tell No Tales was written and produced by Leanne Egan. In it, you heard the voices of Asher Amor-Train as Frank, Leanne Egan as Leo, Shannon Kelly as Julia, Phil Thompson as Riley, and Michaela Hook as Mickey. If you enjoyed this episode, we’d love it if you let someone know. It doesn’t have to be us, but it would be a nice ego boost if it was. You can find us on Twitter or Tumblr @tellnotalespod and as always, links and information about transcripts can be found in the show notes. Tell No Tales is distributed by Wasting Company Time Productions, under a Creative Commons attribution non-commercial share-alike 4.0 international license. Thank you for listening, and remember: the dead don’t bite.

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