Opening theme (short version) begins

Leanne:

Wasting Company Time presents Tell No Tales, season two. Episode 3.5: A Promising Start

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[SFX: Angry break-up music plays loudly. Doorbell rings, Julia sighs, sits up, and turns down the music. Knocks from the front door can be heard, then doorbell ringing with increasing frequency while footsteps hurry to open the door]

RILEY

Hi!

JULIA

Hi? You’re looking… alert.

RILEY

I’m on a ton of painkillers for the headaches and I’ve got an hour or so before they wear off again. But I finally found a promising case. (PAUSE) Are you going to let me in?

JULIA

Yeah, sorry about the mess.

[SFX: Riley enters, door closes behind them as they walk further in]

RILEY

You say that every time, you can’t be that sorry. Hi Jeremy.

JULIA

Oh, speaking of Jeremy, he’s learned something new. What’s your favourite mug?

RILEY

What do you mean?

JULIA

Whenever you’re here, do you have one specific mug you usually drink from?

RILEY

Oh, yeah, it’s the one with a snail and er, oh, erm, it says ‘effervescent’ on it.

JULIA

Of course it is. Here, look.

[SFX: Julia opens a cupboard and places a mug on the counter, after a brief pause, there is a ghostly woosh and the sound of liquid filling the mug from within]

JULIA

Thank you Jeremy!

RILEY

Oh shit, is that peppermint?

JULIA

Yep! He can do all kinds now. It helps if it’s a mug you use a lot, not sure why. Once I get the recorder going I can ask him.

RILEY

(TAKES A SIP) Fuck me, that’s good tea. Ta, Jezza.

[SFX: Riley and Julia both pull out a chair and sit at the table]

JULIA

So, what’s this promising case?

[SFX: Case file being fished out of Riley’s bag and placed on the table]

RILEY

It’s a weird one. There’s this old building in SoHo. It’s been pretty much abandoned for a bit over a decade, but it used to be an old gay bar, opened way back in 1928, and was going strong all the way through to the nineties. It eventually closed down in 2013 because of increasing rents in the area and a couple of decades of slowly diminishing business.

JULIA

Tale as old as time.

RILEY

Yup, except now, there’s an activist group on the scene. They’re called Liberating History, and they’re all about preserving and prioritising queer history. They’ve been fighting tooth and nail to keep new buyers from jumping in and tearing down the old building, and part of their tactic has been the spirit that resides there.

JULIA

Oooooh, so that’s intriguing.

RILEY

Intriguing as fuck, mate. Their technique has been to basically ward off anyone interested in buying the place by threatening them with an expensive and drawn-out legal battle. And when that’s not enough to put them off, they let them know about the resident category three that would cost a fortune to remove before they could even start work on the place.

JULIA

Okay, but the case ended up on your desk, so someone obviously called the bluff.

RILEY

Yeah, I looked into it and they really had no legal grounds to fight against it at all. The building isn’t listed, and Liberating History don’t own the place. The cost of the spirit removal was the only real card they had to play, but someone’s clearly decided that they’re okay footing the bill for that. However, the case came to research with instructions to hold it before forwarding to dispatchers. Want to guess why?

JULIA

Nope, don’t like guessing, I like to be told things.

RILEY

They’re occupying it. They’ve got a rotating number of protesters in the building at any given time, and they’re raising funds while they do it to buy the site themselves.

JULIA

Oh shit, I love that. Can we go?

RILEY

Hell yes. I think this could work for both of us. They’re drumming up as much press around the occupation as they can, drawing attention to the fundraiser. If we can get an interview with their spirit, that could be a game-changer for all of us.

JULIA

Shit, with enough press, an interview could… if the public hears the voice of a spirit, a spirit connected to a cause they already care about, and that spirit is threatened with removal… we could get the public on our side with a single interview.

RILEY

I know, exactly! How close are you to finishing the recorder?

JULIA

Close… ish. Close-ish. Not close enough. But if they’re expecting the occupation to last a while, we’ve got time, right?

RILEY

For now. First things first, let’s get in touch with the brains behind the protest. There’s a woman called Louisa Truman, she’s the founder of Liberating History. We’ll talk to her, and see what’s what.

JULIA

And I’ll work like hell on the recorder in the meantime.

RILEY

It’s a start.

JULIA

It’s a damn good start.

[SFX: Angry break-up music fades from tinny in-universe speakers to full volume, highlighting the lyrics “…to tell me that you’re sorry / I’m better now, I’m happy / I don’t need you”]

Closing theme (short version) begins

Leanne:

This episode of Tell No Tales was written and produced by Leanne Egan. In it, you heard the voices of Phil Thompson as Riley and Shannon Kelly as Julia. Thank you for listening, and remember: the dead don’t bite.

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