Transcript: S2 E5.5 – Doing Fine
Everybody’s Fine!
Content Warnings: Mentions of blood / wounds
Opening theme (short version) begins
Leanne:
Wasting Company Time presents Tell No Tales, season two. Episode 5.5: Doing Fine
Opening theme (short version) ends
[SFX: Angsty pop music playing, typing, rifling through papers. A stack of papers is slammed down with a thump as Riley slumps in their seat.]
RILEY
This would be much easier if I was doing it in the office.
JULIA
Yeah, I know, but we’ve already used too many Better Place resources on this job and we can’t afford to make Frank suspicious.
RILEY
What’s there to be suspicious about? He already knows we’re doing everything in our power to bring him down.
JULIA
But he hasn’t fired us yet…
RILEY
Which can only mean he’s got something up his sleeve that makes him confident we’re not going to cause him any problems.
JULIA
All the more reason to go rogue. Sneak attack the bastard.
RILEY
You can just say “surprise him,” nerd.
JULIA
I’m sorry, which one of us has multiple magic the gathering championships under their belt?
RILEY
I told you that in confidence.
JULIA
I need blackmail material. Look at you, you’re scary good at research, if our friendship goes tits-up there would be a huge discrepancy in blackmail power.
RILEY
What do you mean if? I already have a whole folder on you. Just biding my time.
JULIA
Oh, you’re funny, is that what you’ve been doing while failing to find the identity of our Coronation Club spirit?
RILEY
Ouch. Low blow.
JULIA
I try.
RILEY
Do you try? Because you could be trying harder with getting that recorder up-and-running.
JULIA
That’s fighting talk. Wanna swap jobs? See if you can do any better?
RILEY
Go ahead. Save me the headache, do my research for me while I take a cursory glance at your recorder, decide I have no idea what the fuck I’m looking at, then go lie down in a dark room with some painkillers.
JULIA
That seems like a fair trade. Ish. Oh, wow, okay, so you’re just taking shots in the dark, huh?
RILEY
Yuppp.
JULIA
So you’ve got about four decades in which this person could have died. That’s… could be worse, I guess.
RILEY
Yeah, could be better, too.
JULIA
But we’re being optimists about this! I like that you’re working systematically through the names mentioned on the agenda for the British Gay Liberation Front. Time consuming, but comprehensive. Although I see you’re almost finished with those and they’re almost all ruled out, okay okay okay, so uh, what’s next?
RILEY
Excellent question.
JULIA
(AS IF COMING TO A CHEERFUL REALISATION) Oh, I see. We’re fucked.
RILEY
Astute observation. Can I go lie down in that dark room yet?
JULIA
You haven’t even looked at the recorder.
RILEY
Looks like it records things, probably.
JULIA
False. It does nothing of the sort. If it did, we would be considerably less fucked.
RILEY
Well, sounds like something we should get cracking on then.
JULIA
No, you just go nap. I’ll work on it. Joking aside, I’m close, I think. If we can get the recorder working, we won’t need to find the identity of the spirit. We can just ask them.
RILEY
That would make my job easier. Alright, you don’t have to tell me twice, (TURNING AWAY FROM THE MIC) I’m sure you can show yourself out, or you could stay, I don’t-
[SFX: Chair pulling out and fabric rustle as Riley stands up and turns away from the mic]
JULIA
(OVERLAPPING) Christ, Riley!
RILEY
(FACING THE MIC AGAIN) Huh?
JULIA
Your shoulder! Are you bleeding through your shirt? Turn back around.
RILEY
Julia, why are you so obsessed with me?
JULIA
No I’m serious, Riley, turn around. You’re definitely bleeding. That’s where you got hit, isn’t it? By the amalgamation in Frank’s lab?
RILEY
Yeah. Maybe, I don’t know. It’s fine, though.
JULIA
It doesn’t look fine. Can I see please? It should have healed by now. Maybe it’s infected. Let me just-
RILEY
NO, Julia, it’s fine. Leave it please.
JULIA
But-
RILEY
Please. I’m fine.
JULIA
Okay. Okay, you’re fine.
RILEY
Can I go and take that nap now?
JULIA
Yeah. I’ll see you later.
[SFX: Footsteps, door slams]
Closing theme (short version) begins
Leanne:
This episode of Tell No Tales was written and produced by Leanne Egan. In it, you heard the voices of Phil Thompson as Riley and Shannon Kelly as Julia. Thank you for listening, and remember: the dead don’t bite.
Closing theme (short version) ends
